True, some Christians will rejoice on the spot when they attend church on what Americans call Resurrection Sunday. Don't be surprised, either, if they don't.
If you attend a church at this time of year, when people are proclaiming the greatest miracle, claiming that death was forever beaten and has lost is sting, while looking distinctly 'bulldog got by wasp' ish, you may find also that there is a sense of loss in the Passion.
Jesus will forever recall what happened. We're told that's how he intercedes for us, although not WHY: our sins will be forgotten because of the doctrine of substitution, when Jesus took on our guilt and separation from God as both an innocent man and God himself: the Aslan story.
After Easter we may wish; we may dream; we may promise, however, we don't have the power. Jesus has all the glory. That can look like getting a better life for ourselves if we follow him. Or it can be that we give up.
We abandon for a greater prize. Don't think that for a few moments we don't grieve. Often the pain of our tears keeps us from believing what the Resurrection ultimately proved -- God's great and perfect goodness.
I think he knew that we couldn't believe he was so good in our own right, and therefore he sent the Holy Spirit. To let us be confused, mystified, and joyous!
I'm not there yet this Easter.
Let me give a run down of the schedule and you can imagine the cataclysmic dark forces in my life hitting the power of the light that raised Jesus from the grave and shrieking for their very lives.
And you can conjure up all the echoes that reverberated round the dank space when Jesus wasn't there and think of all my regrets.
All the details I believe he's forgotten, raised as he is at this time of year. And isn't that typical of him? I heard he'd gone for a wander round the garden.
It can leave you feeling terribly guilty, as a Christian, when you feel like that on Easter day. Bereft. There we are. I have to confess it.
Easter Diary
Maundy Thursday - Sang Baristow's Lamentations. They are very sad chants that explain how Jerusalem has been devastated. We sing them on Thursday of Holy Week because it's the day Christ was betrayed by his disciple Judas and led off to be tried. After the service the altar is stripped, the cross is taken and we leave the church in silence. But in this service the congregation are also invited to have their feet washed by the celebrant (vicar or rector taking the service). After the service candles are lit in the side chapel for anyone who wants to stay and pray in silence. Later in the evening there's a watch of two people at a time in the chapel to keep guard over Christ's final hours.
Good Friday - March of witness with all the churches followed by an open air service with hymns. I didn't make it to the walk around town because a friend of mine is very ill and at her best in the mornings. We had a short Skype session instead and I went on my bike for the latter part of the communal worship. During the afternoon the choir at Holy Trinity performed 'Faithful Cross' by John of Portugal, a beautiful piece in Latin with a meditative quality.
Easter Saturday - I was in Manchester on the Saturday. I popped into the cathedral to have a look at the art trail, which fittingly was all sarcophagi, tiny ones for children (the artist had lost a child) and huge ones that apparently were soul containers (you won't believe how popular this theme is in art history, churches love little boxes called reliquaries and objects like that.)
Resurrection Sunday - I was up at 4.30 in the morning to meet my lift at 5.30 for a dawn service at St Tudno's, a little historic church that gives Llandudno it's name. Llan is a parish or settlement, and we are of Tudno, mutated over the years to a 'd.' This service takes place every year, in the open air if warm enough. We stayed indoors and froze. The liturgy dwelt on the Passover. The whole service was beautiful and I was given a reading to do, many of the congregation who were there were able to take part. There were several younger people in their teens and twenties and we were all sprinkled with water and asked to renew our baptismal vows. Afterwards we were served tea and bacon butties.
At 10.30 we had the usual service with a rehearsal before. I'm sorry I can't remember anything about it. I remember singing one of my favourite anthems 'This Joyful Easter Tide' and a few of the hymns and that's about it. The choir's on holiday this week and believe me it's well deserved.